[10-11-2024] JUST

Everything feels like it's going against me

These past couple of days if not this past week has NOT been a great week for me. Yeah sure, There's SOME good things but it's been mostly bad. If anything good, I did manage to get 100$ more on my paycheck this week, I was going to work 16 days in a row but now I don't have to work Overtime Saturday which gives me the weekend off, I got my Car's oil change that needed to be done since July if I recall, and that for the past two days I've been able to be on my feet much greater than usual. So that's about... 4 different things that have been going good. But this past week, I was going to put in for being part of Morning shift. If I join morning shift that means that I will have more time to do things, more places I can go after work to get stuff for dinner and plenty of other things. So I brought a paper for a shift change and I did some of the paper work all the while my Supervisor to do the final sign thing to turn it in. Well, I was Denied! And it's all because of my Team Lead decided to use his seniority to Demote himself to be able to change shifts, All in the last minute effort. Apparently he's been meaning too but the fact that it was last minute just says a lot man. Now I gotta wait til March to be able to try and switch to morning shift.

Fiance Update

This has also been kind of a taxing thing as well but my Fiance had her scan results. Basically, The mass stopped shrinking and the small specs grew a little bit, This has had me more in a worried state yet again but they are not out of options. This is really bullshit considering that the last scan in August actually shown a huge improvement that scaled the cancer down by 15%. It's still a small place but the best for cancer to be is to not exist at all. But everything else looked fine in the scan it's just that one area on her Liver. Keep in mind, It's all in one place so far. However, My Fiance has more issues going on as of recent that's actually not related to cancer. Lately it's been kinda hard for her to eat things since she's been getting more and more nauseous when she eats, so they're going to be looking into that today. If you remember, she has no stomach now so she's kinda going through some hurdles handling this. ONTOP OF THIS, She's also sick and has been coughing up a lot. So since yesterday she's been in the hospital and should be out in a few days, Probably tommorow she will be free. I will be real, it's just so hard to relax anymore with all this going on. Like through this morning I have been like shaking in anticipation to hear something and my nerves feel so shot at this point. I want all of this to end so that we can go back to having a normal life now.